Nibblets? Yes. That is my word for saying, “here is something to nibble on.”
I am a human. I make mistakes. I have made BIG mistakes.
I am only 23, so much of my experience is yet to come.
I have no kids and no husband, so I tell the world my bed time stories.
I am a survivor. I never take life for granted. I fight to live.
I am a geek and proud.
I am a musician. In my head, the world is a musical.
I’m from the South- I think fast and I talk fast. Keep up.
These things make me, well, me. Somedays, patients see the 23 unmarried kid and ask for the “grown up ambulance.” They don’t know that I’ve lived through a lot… they don’t know that I’ve matured way past most of the people twice my own age. I just grin my goofy little grin and treat them to the best of my abilities.
On the other hand, sometimes people expect me to be Jesus H Christ. I see this gold patch on my arm… but that doesn’t mean that I can walk on water (Geebus, far from it). I can’t cure your headache with this blood pressure cuff, I don’t have magic pills in my ambulance to stop your snot (but I DO have tissue), and sadly, no… I can’t make your baby breathe again. I will try and try and try until I am so weak that I can’t pick my arms up off of his chest, until I am sweating like I am running a marathon, until I am gasping for air, until the doctors pull me off of the stretcher and tell me it is time to call it. I am only 23 years old… I still have a lunchbox and wear pigtails when I’m sad.
I have all of these weird quirks.
I laugh at inappropriate times. Like, at funerals. I know it isn’t funny. In fact, I am really sad most of the time during these events. But seeing other people cry makes me nervous. When I’m nervous, I laugh hysterically. When I laugh hysterically ,I snort.
I cry when people discipline me. I think I have a problem with authority.
I live with severe OCD but I think it’s hilarious. Ask me about it sometime, and I’m sure I’ll make fun of myself.
All of these quirks aside, people still look up to me and respect me. I guess I’ll never get it. I just thought that tonight I would share with you all what it’s like to be in my mind.
It’s a scary place, isn’t it?
MsP
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Well, MsParamedic! Gotta tell you I wouldn’t have picked you for 23! An awesome story.
I know paramedics and ambulance officers your age who I would trust with my family’s lives, so don’t worry about folks asking for the “grown up ambulance”… lap it up and keep doing what you’re doing!
Love your work with the blog.
Crumbo
Lovely words. They are all true, I am sure of that. I have seen your sights and felt your feelings. In my own way, at my own time. That is how I know they are true. Thank you for inviting me into your scary mind, I will tread lightly.
Thanks Jeramedic!! you’re awesome!
Ms Paramedic,
Thank you for letting us have this further glimpse into who the real Ms Paramedic is. I really cannot wait to meet you in person next month. I hope and think we will get on like a room on fire (is that a bad analogy?)
I dont know how long you are in the city for, but hopefully we could all meet up outside of the Chaos of the premiere too?
Oh, and we are going to have such a conversation about our respective OCD traits!!
999,
Thank you, as usual for the kind words! I will be in SF from the 12-14th so we’ll definitely have to hang out outside of the chaos I’m sure Setla has planned!!
…and the OCD battle will be on!!
I’ve taken quite a liking to your writing style; it’s…well…refreshing. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
thank you!!
Ms P
Have you ever thought of opening your mind as a scary Disney World?
It’s not Disney appropriate, I fear… Maybe Universal Studios.
Oh MsP,
You are one special lady, that’s for sure. Our minds are a definitely scary place. I laugh alll the time, especially since being in school when frustrated and stressed. Not sure if it’s a good thing or not. Keep being awesome, and making me laugh.
Yours truly,
Your soon to be in a year favorite LPN
It is most scary! I’ve only seen a fraction of it in person! But…as others have said, it is also very special. And what makes you unique.
Don’t ever change for anyone.
thank you darlin! <3
Is OCD part of the job requirements for being a paramedic? Given the number of your genus I’ve come across who have varying degrees of it, that is.
Eileen,
it could actually well be part of what makes up alot of us paramedics. Mine, which is now well under control stems from having an irrationally high sense of responsibility for others and it always showed in times like having to turn off a cooker or fire etc (what if I didn’t do it properly then the whole house exploded and everyone died – Sounds stupid, I know!) Maybe it just shows in people who are carers of others to a greater degree?